Friday, December 31, 2010

Raise Your Glass to 2011

I have woefully neglected this blog...so my very cliched and obvious New Year's resolution is to deliver more food writing pleasure to you, my loyal fans...all three of you...here's lookin' at you Mom!



Yes it's Friday, and generally that means one hilarious romp through recipe madness, but in honor of New Year's tradition I offer you a "how to" on Champagne opening.

People...the big pop is a big no no!  Save the bubbles for your glass.  And never ever never point that cork toward anyone!


And now some fun facts about the bubbly you all know and love:

1. The French, in all their nationalistic glory, are the only ones allowed to actually label a bottle of bubbly "Champagne" it must come from the Champagne region of France, otherwise it's known as a sparkling wine.  If you plan on picking up a bottle of bubbly from Italy they bottle under the label Prosecco, and Spain calls it Cava.

2.  Picking up a bottle of German bubbles?  The label "Troken" on the bottle means you've got one dry elixer on your hands, nothing wrong with a dry sparkling wine, in fact, it's what I prefer, but it's not always the biggest crowd pleaser.  Brut is the common term for dry for most other sparkling wines, extra Brut = extra dry.  Now here is where is gets confusing the next step down from Brut and heading toward the sweeter side of things is called "extra dry" it's actually the middle of the road sparkling, and the one I would recommend serving at a party.  Lastly on the scale you'll find demi-sec which is on the sweet side and pairs well with a dessert.

3. Superior sparkling wines will have a second fermentation in the bottle NOT a tank.  Second fermentation in a tank implies large batch bubbly, think Korbel.  So next time you are out to eat and order a glass, look for teeny tiny little bubbles, it's a good indication of in-bottle fermentation and therefore quality.

I wish you all a healthy, wealthy, and prosperous New Year full of GREAT FOOD!  Cheers!

Monday, September 20, 2010

I Had Some Dreams...They Were Clouds in my Coffee

I am a creature of habit... and borderline addiction, so it goes without saying that I begin every morning with a cup of Joe to get my eyes a blinkin' and my err other things that may or may not rhyme with "vowels" a movin'.  This is a practice so closely followed in my home that it's become borderline dogma.  We have this schmancy fancy pants "coffee system" that we received as a wedding gift years back.  It's a one cup pod model that does every thing short of raise your kids and wash your dog...but I digress.

My husband detested coffee until it became a necessary evil in law school and he refuses to add any accoutrement for reasons I still don't understand.  In my case, however, coffee is nothing more than a vehicle for dairy and legal addictive stimulants (as are all good things in life when you really think about it).  So you can imagine how it tickles me pink when a novelty creamer flavor arrives all sparkley and new under the refrigerated dairy case lights, promising peaceful mornings and sweet sweet dairy satisfaction.

Remember when Coffee-Mate had two sad little flavors, Original or French Vanilla and it only came in that icky powder that never actually fully dissolved in your coffee?  Original always puzzled me, I mean why not just call it "Cream" what exactly is so original about non-flavored flavored creamer?  But again I digress.  Long gone are the days of easy decisions in the dairy aisle.  Now Coffee-Mate offers 28 count them 28 different little bottles of creamy goodness.  I challenge you to find a creamer mecca that sells all 28 flavors (and if you do, please oh please share with the group) but I am fairly satisfied with my local market's selection...that was until the Great Holiday Creamer Upset of 2010 occurred.

I LOVE trying new flavors, and am ever so delighted when the limited-time-only seasonal line appears.  So excited that just this last week I decided to tempt the fates and skip over the Fall flavors for a brand spanking new, never before tasted, Christmas flavor...

This is the evil doer:

I know what you're thinking..."Sugar & Spice" and everything nice...that's what great coffee is made of.  Look at the little sugar cookies decorated so delightfully in royal icing and silver dragees.  There are cinnamon sticks and star anise on the packaging for crying out loud.  How on earth could we go wrong here?  But it did...it went so very very wrong.  So wrong that the coffee-mate website http://www.coffee-mate.com/default.aspx doesn't even acknowledge this flavor at all.  (In a related topic, I must say it's a snazzy little website Coffee-mate has going, complete with recipes, you should check it out, just skip this particular flavor all together.)
Have you ever put star anise in anything?  How about a cinnamon stick?  Ever left it in said thing too long?  It's disastrous people.  Tree bark does not take kindly to amateur hands.  You have to know exactly when steeping over-steps its boundaries and becomes insidious soaking.

I was so excited to try this puppy that I raced home from the market and brewed a cup of decaf lickety split.  I'll leave you with the first thought that raced through my mind...

Did I just drink tree?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Avast me hearties! This here be a recipe to send scurvy to Davy Jones' locker.

Posted by PicasaIn honor of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I'd share with you one of the most delicious quick bread recipes in all the high seas. But first a word from our sponser:

Aunt Judy is the "tallest" pictured
the rest are under the age of six.
 My dear Aunt Judy is the mistress of quick breads and has been delighting our family with a plethora of options for as long as I can remember.  As children we knew that once we'd surpassed Aunt Judy's height (a mere 4 foot and some change, see picture for height reference) we could graduate to the adult table at family gatherings.  I'd like to think that until you've mastered Aunt Judy's quick breads you can't graduate into full on foodie.






This particular recipe is perfect for you pirates and the reason is threefold:

1. Portability; it's a quick bread, no refrigeration required and easily wrapped in butchers' paper.  Perfect for all your swashbuckling adventures.

2. Vitamin C; this recipe calls for orange juice, an antidote to the dreaded scurvy.

3. Poppy Seeds; medicinally said to help ease tooth ache, which you may need mates (see reason number 2).


And so please enjoy this recipe that just may have you yelling "Shiver me timbers!"


Aunt Judy's Poppy Seed Bread


What you'll need:

For the bread:
3 c. flour
2 ¼ c. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 ½ tsp. baking powder
1 ½ c. milk
1 1/8 c. oil
3 eggs
1 ½ tbl. Poppy seed
1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract
1 ½ tsp. butter extract
1 ½ tsp. almond extract

For the glaze:
¾ c. sugar
¼ c. orange juice
½ tsp. vanilla extract
½ tsp. butter extract
½ tsp. almond extract

What to do:

For the bread:

Preheat oven to 350.  

Grease and flower loaf pans.  Sift into a large bowl the flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder.  Whisk in milk, oil, eggs, poppy seeds, and extracts until just combined.  I prefer to whisk by hand rather than in a mixer, over whisking will develop gluten making a tougher bread.  
Bake for 50-60 minutes (you are looking for golden brown and delicious with a clean toothpick test).

For the glaze:
While baking combine all glaze ingredients in a small sauce pot.  Heat glaze over low heat until dissolved and combined.  Once your bread is finished baking remove from the oven and pour glaze over bread and let stand for 10 minutes.  Then turn out and continue to cool on wire rack. 


This yields two loaves which is absolutely perfect.  You'll want to devour the first one on site, but the second loaf will freeze beautifully.  Cool completely and then wrap in butcher's paper.  This will easily keep for three months if packaged properly.  Just set it out on your counter overnight to thaw and you'll have the most delicious breakfast awaiting you when you rise.  

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Recipe Friday...Tuesday edition

Ok, I know what you're thinking...don't tease me with a recipe thereby tricking my internal clock into thinking the workweek is finally over.  Sorry folks, it's Tuesday.  On the flip side you are going to love this recipe so much you'll hardly care that you have 72 more hours until the weekend...it's that good!

So why, pray-tell, you ask, have I been blessed with this early edition Recipe Friday?  Well friends because Fall is upon us and it's making me giddy with delight and visions of large batch soups and stews (perfect for the freezer, take note you busy workin' folks).  We've had the most perfectly lovely weather lately that I wanted to share this recipe early so you could procure all the necessary ingredients by the weekend, because ground lamb isn't the easiest thing to find, but it's oh so worth the hunt (no you don't actually have to hunt the lamb...it's a figure of speech people).

This recipe hails from Finland, and although I am entirely unfamiliar with what exactly the good people of Finland have contributed to this earth, (I'm sure there are plenty of spectacularly diplomatic things, I just skipped that class in college) even if they only invented this soup, it would be enough to pledge my allegiance to the Finnish flag.  I will admit, this shopping list alone doesn't exactly scream "best soup ever" but trust me this is bowl-licking-good soup.




Finnish Style Cabbage Soup

What you'll need: 

6 oz bacon, minced
9 oz ground lamb
3 oz onion, julienned
3/4 pound cabbage, chiffonade
1 1/2 oz celery, finely chopped
1 1/2 oz carrots, finely chopped
1 1/2 oz turnip, finely chopped
3/4 oz garlic, minced
3/4 tsp cracked black pepper
Salt, to taste
3 oz tomato, concasse and diced
48 oz chicken broth
dill, as needed for garnish (but it's not just pretty, it's for flavor too, so don't skip it!)
sour cream, as needed for garnish (see: dill explanation)

What to do:

Heat a large pot over medium heat and add the bacon.  Cook until the fat has rendered about half way and then add the ground lamb and onion.  Continue to cook until well browned.  Add the cabbage, celery, carrots, turnip, garlic, salt and pepper. Sauté until the cabbage has softened, but do not brown the vegetables (we want the caramelized flavor to come from the meat but the veggies to remain uninhibited, free to let their fall veggie flags fly).  Add the tomatoes* and the broth and bring to a simmer (a simmer people, NOT a boil, we don't want to cook the ever living flavor out of these veggies) and cook slowly until the veggies are tender, approximately 30 minutes.  And there you have it...it's that simple...and it's somewhere in that simplicity that I fell in love with this soup and you will too.  I'm not sure really when the lovely people of Finland partake in this soup (a lot I would imagine, as the few facts that I actually know about Finland involve its flag, which is blue with a white cross, the white of course representing all the snow) but I think it's perfect for the Fall.  It's not really hardy enough to be a rib-sticking Winter soup, but just as you begin to feel the dependable chill of September air roll in, that's the exact moment you want to have a steamy bowl of this soup in your lap (well not in your lap, but in a bowl ON your lap as you enjoy one of the last outdoor meals before Fall officially descends).

*And now a word about concasse:
Concasse is a French technique for getting all the guts and skin and seedy bits out of a tomato so that you are left only with plump tomatoey flesh.  It requires you to cut out the core end, score the other end, blanch, shock, squeeze, and peel.  In my personal opinion this is a whole lot of rigamarole for purely aesthetic purposes.  If you don't mind seeing more tomato parts in your soup, then I say skip this fussy step and just dice the stinking tomato, trust me Finland won't mind

Monday, August 30, 2010

Why I heart Jimmy Fallon, Modern Family, and George Clooney

Oh Emmy's how I wait for you all year long...maybe not with quite as much anticipation as the Tony's or let's be honest the booze-laden anything goes Golden Globes.  But you are always a bright spot in a mid-west summer that has gone on far too long leaving me grumpy and sweaty.  And you delivered again, as if there were any doubt (ok there may have been some doubt, I mean we are dealing with the same telecast that had the tragic co-hosting of Tom BergeronHeidi KlumHowie MandelJeff Probst, and Ryan Seacrest just a mere two years ago, and then there was the '97 show with Bryant Gumbel...really Academy...Bryant Gumbel?!?). 





First and foremost Jimmy Fallon was right.  He warned me on multiple occasions that trying to DVR the telecast could be hazardous to my health.  He urged not to attempt it or my DVR would wind up in a fiery ball of smoke and melty plastic.  Alas I did not head his warning.  I fancy myself something of a DVR master...I wear the remote control pants in this house (that actually doesn't make a lick of sense, but you know exactly what I mean).  I'm like the Obi Wan of DVR logistics..."these are not the shows you're looking for"  (sorry I couldn't resist!).  Well I think you all know where this is going.  Cut to 8:00 after a lovely dinner with friends and much to my surprise NO RED RECORDING LIGHT!  I'd inadvertently missed the opening number and most of the awards for Comedy.  Oh the horror.  So if you, like me, foolishly relied on your DVR and it failed you in a big way (or you're just really curious about my favorite bits) then without further ado I present to you the parts I had to youtube-that I wished I'd seen in real time-but still made me chuckle out of context the day afterward-and you should too-clips!


First there was this:
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"Great I'm just workin on some sweet new dance moves with my new dance coach."
"Alright, now back that mother up!"

Could I possibly love Jon Hamm anymore?  Answer: un-possible!
Could Betty White BE any hotter right now?  Answer: ride that gravy train all the way to the bank Betty!

I'd like to personally thank Jimmy Fallon for the cameo appearance of one yummy Joel McHale...call me!

And then there was this:

One word: intra-network-cross-polini-cynergism

On a side note, every time I see George Clooney here is the immediate thought that pops into my mind: I bet he smells so good!

Lastly an in memoriam bit only Jimmy Fallon could pull off:

Ok, so there were some flops...the tweet generated intros didn't all work, Matthew Weiner was abruptly played off to cut to a commercial, Conan O'Brian was robbed of a very awkward acceptance speech, and much to the chagrin of men every where the cameras never panned to Heidi Klum sitting in her micro-mini and Christina Hendrickson did NOT have a wardrobe malfunction (but boy oh boy...June was bustin' out all over!).  

All in all I'd say it was one of the more entertaining Emmy's in the recent past.  Ricky Gervais even passed out booze to the crowd and Top Chef was finally rewarded for its awesome season in Vegas.  The Academy gave us two, count them two, opportunities to drool over George Clooney, and Modern Family won for Best Comedy (sorry Gleeks, but this show is seriously hilarious...if you don't watch you should start Wed. Sept. 22 on ABC...you can thank me later).  

Let me know what you thought of the show in the comments.  

Friday, August 27, 2010

Teaching an Old Dog

I'd like to say that although my husband came packaged with a myriad of fun accessories like witty banter, great hugs, and a soft spot for all things furry, he did not come fully equipped with the ability to cook.  As he likes to say "I can't cook but I can follow directions".  So I was particularly surprised when he offered to cook our anniversary dinner a few weeks ago.  First things first I checked the interwebs to make sure the traditional fourth year anniversary gift was not a kitchen fire (it's fruit and flowers for those of you wondering). I offered my help with this adventure but was only allowed to pick a recipe.  Oh the pressure was on.  To date, my husband was a one trick pony, if he ever offered to cook, I knew I was getting his "you won't be single for very long penne alla vodka" so imagine my surprise when he wanted me to pick a new recipe!  At last...he was adding to his arsenal.  I knew I had to keep it rather simple, just a handful of high impact ingredients, nothing fussy, and nothing that required too much knife work.  What follows is the recipe that he successfully pulled off with ease.  Please enjoy!

Creamy Fresh Pasta with Crab, Artichokes, and Mint

This is a great recipe for a busy weeknight because it has all of 5 count them 5 main ingredients, but it's elegant enough for a Sunday dinner.  I take major shortcuts with canned ingredients, but fresh pasta and mint make this dish seem like you slaved all day.  Bonus; the fresh pasta cooks in a matter of minutes so no excuses, you can feed your family swiftly and with relative ease.  So put down the phone, you won't need to order pizza tonight.  This dish easily serves a family of four especially if you add a lovely salad and some crusty bread.

What you'll need:


Kosh salt (enough to make your pasta water taste like the sea)
1 pound fresh pasta (I prefer pappardelle, but fettuccine works just as well)

4 Tbl unsalted butter (that's 1/2 a stick)
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1 can (16 oz) artichokes, drained, rinsed, and halved
1 lemon zested and juiced
Pinch of red pepper flakes
8 oz lump crabmeat (you can spring for the expensive stuff but the canned version ala chicken of the sea works just as well)
3 oz herbed goat cheese (like chevre) crumbled
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Salt, to taste
Handful of fresh mint leaves, chopped
3/4 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, plus extra for serving

What to do:


Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.  Don't add your pasta just yet.  We are seriously talking three minutes cooking time max so you'll want to start the sauce in the meantime.  Make sure you have all your ingredients preped and ready to go before you begin, once this train leaves the station you're riding it to the end of the line...no stops!

Combine the butter and olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat.  Place pasta in boiling water and cook to package instructions.  During the cooking process scoop out 1 cup of the pasta water and add to skillet allowing the liquid to reduce around five minutes.  Don't expect the liquid to thicken a great deal, what you are making is the beginning of a burro fuso which is basically a buttery glaze for pasta made with starchy pasta water, butter, and cheese.  (A burro fuso is a great way to make a light sauce for any pasta, if you are feeling adventurous you can try all sorts of combinations like tortellini with peas and prosciutto or pumpkin ravioli with sage and guanciale.)  Once your pasta is cooked through, drain and place in a large bowl.  You can cover it with a tea towel to keep it nice and hot while the sauce is finishing.  If you are concerned about all that beautiful pasta sticking together in one large Medusa-like mass just toss it with a bit of olive oil, problem solved.  Once the liquid in the skillet has reduced add the artichokes, lemon zest, red pepper flakes, crabmeat, salt and pepper and toss to warm everything through. Remove from heat and pour over noodles and toss to combine.  Add goat cheese, mint, and Parmigiano and season with more black pepper.  Toss to combine.  The residual heat will make the cheeses melt ever so slightly and heat the mint up allowing it to release some pretty potent essential oils.  I typically toss this pasta together with my nose held very close to the bowl...it's really a smell you can't resist!  Squeeze a bit of the lemon juice over the top, just enough to brighten the flavors and really make it sing.  This is where the important task of tasting before you serve comes along.  Think it needs more acid?  Squeeze a bit more lemon.  Not peppery enough?  Well grind away.  Need a bit more saltiness?  Sprinkle more Parmigiano on top.  Just be sure to really toss well before serving, the artichoke and crab tend to slither to the bottom of the bowl and those are two major ingredients you don't want to miss out on.  This is really a no fail recipe, packed with flavor, ready in a jiffy, and easy enough for even a novice cook to master.

This recipe adapted from Tyler's Ultimate, Tyler Florence

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's Obsession Tuesday

I am food OBSESSED...this should not surprise anyone.  For the last three years I've risen every morning craving a spicy tuna handroll from here http://www.chibarstl.com/ (if you are ever in the area do not pass go, do not collect your $200, head straight here!)  Maybe it's the Scorpio in me, but I find myself getting wrapped around the axel about the most banal foodstuff.  Throw in a new product...and yowzah, I'm sold!  So every Tuesday I'll happily be sharing what I'm obsessed with in the world today, mostly food related, with perhaps a few extras thrown in for good measure.  And so without further ado I present to you:




What, you've never heard of Archer Farms?  Well allow me to enlighten you young jedi.  Archer Farms is a private label food brand brought to you by Target.  I had the pleasure of visiting a Target Megastore in Saint Paul, Minnesota over a friend's wedding weekend, and you would have thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  My husband was mortally embarrassed to be seen with me, squealing down the aisles, skipping and clapping like a 13 year old girl afflicted with Bieber fever.  People they sell everything here...you can buy a toothbrush, motor oil, and a porterhouse (yes they have a meat counter).  Now I know this sounds an awful lot like a Super Wal-mart, and truthfully it is, but it's Target people...is there really anything to argue about in this case.  But I digress.  Even if you aren't lucky enough to have one of these shopping meccas in your area, chances are your local Target is stocked with plenty of Archer Farms bounty, and much of the brand is worth a shot (skip the Macaroni and Cheese flavored potato chips, big disappointment) particularly the Sweet Cajun Trail Mix.  In fact Archer Farms has many an intriguing trail mix blend, but if you want a sure bet, go with this flavor combo.  You can't go wrong, it has butter toffee peanuts, spicy peanuts, toasted corn, honey sesame sticks, Cajun sesame sticks, and almonds!  It's the most remarkable combination of salty and sweet, and I'm warning you now, it's mucho addictivo!  I bought the biggest jar they had and nearly scarfed my body weight down in one setting...so don't say you haven't been warned when your significant other finds you in a food coma on the couch with little bits of toasted corn peppering your chest.  


Monday, August 9, 2010

"It's a bad thing" or how I came to loathe Martha Stewart

Last night in a strange twist of fate my husband decided to cook Sunday dinner.  Truthfully I was the slightest bit worried that this endeavor may end in the emergency room, but he was pretty insistent on taking the reins.  So against my better judgement I relinquished control over my command center, or as normal people call it, the kitchen.  Follow up on what he cooked on Recipe Friday!

In the meantime please allow me to entertain you with how I played sous chef for the evening that ended like this:

So as my husband was getting together his mis en place...I know, I've taught him well...I was helping to slather a crusty herbed baguette with some melted butter and then planned to smother it in cheese.  I lobbed off a sizable chunk of butter and grabbed the nearest dish to zap it in the microwave...a dish that would forever change the fate of Sunday Dinner...a seemingly harmless dish that looked like this...



duh duh duh...

These little babies are from the Martha Stewart collection at Macy's.  I received them as a somewhat uninspired Valentine's Day gift along with a turkey baster...hey I never said my husband was the romantic sort.  I have used these little prep bowls and their larger cousin nesting bowls countless times for food prep.  I have not however EVER popped one of these suckers into the microwave up until last evening.  I'm not sure what possessed me to do it.  Maybe I was in a tailspin watching my mighty kitchen fall to the seemingly effortless powers of Husband the Conquerer, maybe it was the three glasses of champagne I'd imbibed while waiting for dinner, either way I wasn't thinking straight...and that my friends was the beginning of the end.

You see these little Martha Stewart bowls are made of melamine, a super duper durable plastic that is wonderful for clumsy people like me.  Not so great in the microwave...BECAUSE IT TURNS TO NAPALM!  My glob of butter and said fire bowl were only in the microwave for 60 seconds, count it, 60 seconds.  I naturally reached in the micro bare handed to grab the bowl when much to my chagrin my right hand ring finger firmly adhered to the side of the bowl.. I quickly set the bowl on the countertop and peeled my finger away leaving in it's wake a large purple welt were a once perfectly normal fingerprint had been.  Ok maybe I'm slightly exaggerating...but seriously people DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT...microwave melamine.  Save yourself the trouble and learn from my mistake.

But this isn't where our story ends, oh no, there is so much more that Martha Stewart has to pay for.  I get burned professionally.  If this domestic goddess wants to take me down she's gonna have to come at me with everything she's got...oh and she did...


Now don't be fooled by her squeaky clean "it's a good thing" exterior, because when you least expect it under the guise of helpfulness she will destroy your sink!  It's true, scout's honor!  After I was finished with the death bowl I went to rinse it off in the sink before sending it to the dishwasher, and that's when it all went terribly wrong.  The bowl slipped from my hand and in an instant had firmly lodged itself smack dab in the middle of my drain.  Oh Martha, how clever you are making a product the exact size as a standard drain.  Where is your research and development team Martha...are they too busy mining their own salts for a lavender scented bath scrub to pay attention to such a crucial detail?!?!  

I tried with all my might to release the bowl of doom from my sink and with every attempt it just lodged itself further into the drain.  I tried a pairing knife to pry it free...no luck.  I tried boiling hot soapy water to perhaps slip it loose...to no avail.  I tried banging on the underside of my sink with some extreme brute force...nothing.  I schlepped out a toilet plunger to suck it out...for pete sake this darn thing was stuck.  The only option at this point was to take apart the garbage disposal to release it from within.  So that is exactly what my husband did after our delicious meal.  There was a veritable deluge of water and a lot of grunting.  But within a few moments the bowl was freed and my husband stood up hands on hips, in what I can only describe as his superman pose, with a really broad grin, and said "that's right...whose your big strong man?"  

And so Martha, although I would like to thank you for the chuckle at my husband's remarks, I'd really prefer to send you a bill for the hour of my life I spent waging war against your domestic empire of destruction.  Oh and you owe me a paella pan...because as you can see from the picture Martha, my husband decided to use it as a water bucket.  

Friday, August 6, 2010

And Now...on with the Show!

It's Friday...and you know what that means...

No...what is wrong with you people?  Not all Fridays mean debauchery at a fevered Jersey Shore pitch.  It means...

It's Recipe Friday Y'All, and have I got a treat for you!

This is a MUST try while those summer berries are still juicy and plentiful (ten points extra if you pick your own).     If you are ever at a loss for what to bring to a summer soirée to impress those persnickety people who expect just because you went to culinary school that you can't run by the local bakery and pick up some cupcakes because FOR GOLL DARN SAKE YOU ARE BUSY TOO!  No...just me?  Well regardless you'll enjoy the ease of making these lovely tarts that look like a hassle, are really no fuss, and taste like a million bucks (come to think of it dirty money is an awful taste, but you know what I mean).


White Balsamic Cream Tartlettes with Summer Berries


There is something incredibly intriguing about this particular pastry cream, and the secret is... drum roll please...vinegar.  Now don't turn your nose up at this baby just yet.  For starters, we are talking about white balsamic vinegar, a sister to the dark and brooding traditional balsamic.  Secondly, it's common practice in all those fancy schmancy restaurants to reduce said brother balsamic into a thick lacquer like syrup, add a bit of sugar, and voila, a lip smackingly sweet and tart gastrique.  It's perfect for decorating the newest abstract dish and allowing the Chef to tack on a five dollar up charge.  Now imagine doing the same thing with a slightly lighter sweeter version of balsamic and you have what contributes to that "oh my goodness what is that almost imperceptible delicious sensation lingering in the back of my throat" moment (and yes that's the technical term).

What you'll need:

For the crust:
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
6 Tbl sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup chilled unsalted butter (that's 2 sticks if you aren't inclined to measure, cut into 1/2 inch cubes)
2 large egg yolks
2 Tbl whipping cream

For the pastry cream:
1/2  cup whipping cream
2 Tbl cornstarch
2 large eggs
4 large egg yolks
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup white balsamic vinegar
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup unsalted butter (that's 1/2 stick)

For the topping:
Fresh summer berries of your choosing.  The first time I made these little lovelies was right around Independence Day, so I stuck with strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries, with a basil leaf for garnish.  Go crazy and experiment with different berry choices, ask your friendly produce guy or gal what the freshest berry in season is at the time. You won't be disappointed with summer's bounty if you just do a bit of research, scout's honor!

What to do:

For the crust:
Combine flour, sugar, and salt in your handy dandy food processor; pulse for about five seconds. Add butter (make sure it's cubed and chilled, that part is important for a mealy crust) and pulse until a coarse meal forms.  Add egg yolks and cream.  Pulse until moist clumps form.  (Don't over do it, heat from the processor will cause the butter to melt, forcing you to scrap the whole durn thing and spring for the cupcakes).  Success!  Now gather that beautiful dough into six little balls (careful not to overwork, too much gluten does not a flaky tart dough make).  Press the dough balls (hee hee hee...I don't know why, but the phrase dough balls always makes me laugh...try it next time you're stressed...and you're welcome in advance) into 6, 4 inch removable-bottom tart shells.  (Now I know what you're thinking... removable-bottom tart shells, we just entered the "way too fancy for my skill set" territory.  Don't worry, I promise this recipe is super duper easy.  You can find these specialty pans at Bed Bath & Beyond...and they aren't even fancy enough to be in the beyond section!  If you prefer you can even buy one large 9 inch pan, just cut the dough recipe in half)  Once the dough is evenly pressed into pans pierce the dough all over with a fork (this allows steam created in the cooking processes to escape and ensures a flat surface to deposit your pastry cream) and chill for 1 hour.

While dough chills, preheat oven to 375.  Dough goes straight from fridge to oven (no lolly gagging) to bake for approximately 22 minutes or until golden.  If the crusts start to bubble just coax it back into the pan with the back of a fork, no harm no foul.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.

For pastry cream:
Yes, I am aware of how fancy the term pastry cream sounds, but trust me it's easy, way easier then the version I had to master in culinary school.  Stir cream and cornstarch in a medium bowl until cornstarch dissolves.  Add eggs, egg yolks, and vanilla; whisk to blend.

Boil vinegar in a heavy medium saucepan until it has reduce to 1/4 cup, around three minutes.  Add 3/4 cup water, sugar, and butter.  Stir until butter melts and return to a boil.  Gradually whisk vinegar mixture into the egg mixture (this is called tempering, go slow, if you go off the rails and dump it in all at once you've curdled your eggs...and I think we know what that means...cupcakes). Return combined mixture to the pan and back to the heat.  Whisk until the custard thickens and boils, about 1 minute (don't turn your back at this point and cut the heat as soon as you see boilage).  Ok at this point you have options, assuming you were good little students and didn't scramble your eggs you are ready to let the pastry cream chill.  If on the other hand you went ahead and answered the phone, barking dog, or screaming kid in that last step and your pastry cream is lookin kinda lumpy then strain it...see you won't need those cupcakes after all, because unlike BP, I built in a failsafe...your welcome! Spread the pastry cream into that beautiful tart shell and cover and chill for at least 3 hours and up to 1 day.  Make sure when you cover to press the wrap all around the pastry cream to prevent a scary skin from forming on top.

For the topping:
You can arrange the berries up to six hours ahead of time, just keep in mind that a particularly ripe berry like blackberries or raspberries may tend to leach a bit of color onto the pastry cream, but it will still be delicious. Tap into your inner artist and go to town decorating those little puppies.  The fancier you get the the more ohhs and ahhs you'll receive...and just wait until you taste it...who knew vinegar could be so delicious!

This recipe adapted from Bon Appetit Magazine, July 2004 issue

But First...an Explanation

My loyal and loving readers (ahem...all three of you) I must apologize for my week long hiatus.  Not exactly how I'd envisioned launching a blog.  I was a busy bee last week serving my civic duty as a juror on a very nasty murder one trial.  The highlights included being escorted out of court in a paddy wagon, a renegade domestic bird attempting to make its courtroom debut, and one, count it one, free lunch.

My favorite moment came well before jury selection when I overheard this conversation:

Disheveled man approaches juror information desk 

Desk attendant: "Sir, was your juror number called?"

Disheveled man: "Ummm, I don't know, I had to go home to change my pants."

In or out of context this is perhaps the funniest conversation I expected to hear at jury duty.  Sadly that was the last laugh for the next 120 hours.  It was an interesting case that regrettably the state will have to retry.  I hope the jurors get it right the next go-around.  It would be a travesty to let this guy walk free.

Friday, July 23, 2010

It's Recipe Friday Y'All!

In my line of work I am often asked to share easy healthful recipes with the masses.  Well actually I'm often asked "so what's your favorite thing to cook" which has always struck me as the oddest question.  I love to cook all sorts of things, I love to bleed over into the pastry world, I love to create cocktails that pair well with my food.  I love it all, and you should, because this is a pretty thankless business.  You work like a dog and get paid like a pauper so you'd better love it...but I digress.

The truth is I love to eat the fussy stuff but I'm not so keen on slaving hours in my kitchen to create it.  I'll happily set up shop throughout the holidays, creating menus, revising menus, testing dishes, and laboring over the perfect turkey.  But unless you plan on breaking out the china I feel like elegant understated easy dishes are the way to go.  I'd love to share some of those easy dishes with you every Friday with user friendly instructions that promise great results.  Expect video tutorials once this blog goes extra fancy.  In the meantime I hope you enjoy this:

Turkey and Artichoke Stuffed Shells with Arrabbiata Sauce

This recipe is my "company is coming let's make it ahead" stand by.  With a salad and some rustic bread this can easily feed a crowd of 6-8.  But the true beauty lies in the fact that you only cook the pasta half way and finish the dish in the oven.  This allows you to stuff all those pretty little shells and toss them in the freezer.  You can pull out as few or as many as you wish! Making the bang for your buck, or in this case, meals for your time, invaluable.

What you'll need:

For the shells:
1, 12 oz box jumbo pasta shells
3 Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped (aprox. 1 cup)
5 cloves of garlic
1 lb of ground turkey
1, 10 oz package frozen artichokes, thawed and roughly chopped
1, 15 oz container ricotta cheese
3/4 cup grated Asiago cheese
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 cup chopped basil leaves
2 Tbl chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
Salt and Pepper to taste
5 cups Arrabbiata Sauce (recipe below)
2 cups grated mozzarella

For the sauce:
2 Tbl extra-virgin olive oil
6 oz sliced pancetta, roughly chopped (bacon works in a pinch or if you're just pinching pennies)
2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
3 garlic cloves, minced
5 cups of your favorite marinara sauce

What to do:

For the sauce:

You'll want to make this sauce ahead of time and allow it to cool.  However, if you're pulling these puppies out piecemeal (pun totally intended) then I say skip making your own sauce all together.  Just grab your favorite marinara and go to town.  You may even get lucky and find a jarred Arrabbiata already ready already (Trader Joe's makes a pretty tasty one).  You'll hardly miss the jazzed up version.  I only bother with it when I know I'm going to be baking off all the shells at once. If you hate the idea of sacrificing a crispy pork product lingering somewhere in your dish then cook up the pancetta with your turkey and stuff it into the shells.  If you do plan on making the sauce, here's what ya do:

Heat the olive oil in a large pot on medium heat.  Add the pancetta and sauté until golden brown (if you are using bacon take it to a medium crispness) somewhere around five minutes of cooking time.  Add the garlic and saute until tender, make sure you are only using medium heat, as this process goes quickly and if you burn the garlic there's really no going back.  Add the marinara sauce and red pepper flakes and bring to a simmer.  Remove from heat and let cool until ready to use.

For the shells:

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.  Add the pasta and partially cook just until pliable but still very firm to the bite, approx 4-5 minutes.  Drain the pasta and rinse under cool water to stop the cooking process.  Set aside on a cookie sheet to cool, with the shells separated so as not to stick together.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat.  Add the onions and the garlic and cook until the onions are soft and beginning to brown.  Add the ground turkey and continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until the meat is slightly golden and cooked through.  Add the artichoke hearts and stir to combine.  Remove from heat and allow mixture to cool.  *Don't cheat here, allow it to cool, if you combine hot off the stove meat with the cheeses and egg you run the risk of curdling the egg and making a gooey mess of the cheese.*

In a large bowl combine the ricoatta cheese, Asiago cheese, slightly beaten eggs, basil, parsley, and salt and pepper to taste.  Stir to combine.  Then add the cooled turkey mixture and again stir to combine.

Cover the bottom of a 9 X 13 X 2 baking dish with 1 cup of sauce (this will prevent sticking).  To stuff the shells take a shell in the palm of your hand and stuff it with a large spoonful of the turkey mixture.  Repeat, and align the stuffed shells in the baking dish until full (approx 24 shells).  Cover shells with remaining sauce (these measurements can all be eyeballed if you are cooking only a few shells at a time) and top with mozzarella.

To bake, preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Bake until the shells are warmed through and the cheese is beginning to brown approx 20 min. If the shells are frozen no need to thaw simply cook them longer approx 60 minutes.

Stuffed shells can be frozen sans sauce on a cookie sheet so as to prevent sticking.  Once frozen seal tightly in a plastic bag for up to 1 month.

This recipe adapted from Giada De Laurentiis, Everyday Italian

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Tribe has Spoken

Ok I'm not the biggest fan of "Survivor." In fact, I've seen a measly one episode in the 20 seasons it's been on the air (yes, you read that right, 20 seasons). However, I think Mark Burnett and his buddies over at CBS might be on to something. Instead of voting people off the island, why don't we vote them on? Wouldn't it be lovely if we could simply roundup all the scumbags, ruffians, and ne'er-do-wells, and haul them off to some remote island to fight it out?




Now I know what you're thinking...and yes I'm aware of that place they call Australia. It ultimately worked out for them so I'm pretty sure civil rights advocates wouldn't have much to say about my plan. So here goes...every Thursday I'll set up a poll that you can find to the right of your screen. Feel free to vote on which jackhole you'd like to send packing. I'll keep a running tally and once I'm elected "Princess of Quite a lot" I'll make sure each person gets a one way ticket out of our hair! Hell I may even let Jeff Probst make the weekly announcement on C-SPAN or something. So let the voting begin!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Kia has gone to the hamsters!

Has anyone else seen this:



I really can't decide whether this marketing campaign is pure genius or if it frightens me enough to change the channel.  I'm leaning toward genius.  I do know that I am totally obsessed with the krumping ballerina hamsters in the background about 40 seconds in!  Is this what happens to those poor lab hamsters that have all sorts of beauty products force tested on them?  Is there something lurking in the latest facial peel or deep conditioning treatment that causes them to grow 7 times their size and rap?  I wonder what PETA would have to say about this.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Friends, Countrymen, lend me your comments

Because I am relativity "special" when it comes to this whole blogging thing I didn't realize I'd inadvertently turned off the comments portion to my blog.  So thanks to philgrad who helped me out in this little pickle.  The comments section is now open for business folks, fire at will!

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Joys of Homeownership

Today in Saint Louis it was a balmy 91 degrees with the humidity lingering somewhere around 60%.  The rest of the week isn't promising much relief.  So when we discovered last Wednesday that our thermostat, modestly set at 74, was reading 77, and neither of our dual-zoned AC units had shut off over a three day period we did what any self respecting homeowner would do.  We ignored the problem, thereby putting off forking over an inevitably large sum of money and sweated through a fit-full few nights of sleep.  By Sunday we were soaked, cranky, and willing to shell out the big bucks.  Enter air-conditioner-repairman-dude (dun duh duh DAH)!  He was prompt, and for that I am very thankful.  But he was not, shall we say, tidy.  In fact he was more like a tornado sweeping through the Kansas plain that is my backyard, leaving in his wake:

This



this


this


and this

Now don't get me wrong, I love a sight gag as much as the next guy (with questionable taste in humor).  But regardless of your belief system, don't ya think leaving the Virgin Mother of Christ to sunbathe in this heat is just asking for a few years in purgatory?  You're on notice air-conditioner-repairman-dude, you're on notice!

Hello Blog(sphere). Are you there? It's me Ashley.

As a complete luddite (I'd still be talking with two tin cans and a long string if I could, people) I'm sure it may come as a shock that I have indeed entered the 21st century.  But in my quest for world domination (read; "Princess of quite a lot") it seemed a necessary evil.  And so, without further ado, I introduce the world (or what I can only hope are a few loyal readers) to my once and future blog.  Soup to Nuts, from beginning to end, for all the courses life has to offer!